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Does the Honeymoon Phase Have to End?

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Does the Honeymoon Phase Have to End?

Ah, the Honeymoon phase. Just about every romantic relationship starts with a leap into the abyss of rose-colored fun. Butterflies, excitement, and passionate love working cohesively to make the beginning feel dream-like. Infatuation is high and the newness is just so…new. Is it possible for those feelings to ebb, flow, and even *gasp* end? Well, sure! But really…does the honeymoon phase have to end?

No. Can it end? Of course. If it does happen to end it doesn’t mean your relationship is mundane or uneventful. On the contrary, it may just mean you view honeymoon different than someone else. The thing is, we all view this phase in our own way. Some people might say the honeymoon phase is ultimate highpoint of relationships. That it’s a story to be shared for decades and decades of how they first fell in love. Others may believe it’s only a kicking off point; That deeper and more meaningful love occurs after infatuation fades.

You need to understand I’m about to give my opinion. I don’t think someone’s version of honeymoon has to end…ever. For me, these keep honeymooning alive:

Sharing my excitement over accomplishments, knowing my partner is just as excited.

Locking eyes after our kid does something and we both smile.

Cooking dinner together.

Going to Home Depot and getting our next D.I.Y. project materials.

The first laugh we share after the inevitable fight during said D.I.Y. project.

Watching old movies and quoting the lines a half second early.

Saying, “Remember when we did such and such” and they do.

 Sharing a pint of ice cream in a single sitting.

Critique guests on Shark Tank and google to see if the companies made it or not.

Being surprised with books, legos, clothes, plants, and a Christmas tree that one time.

Keeping a seed of knowledge for future use like the time I mentioned I liked cooking with wooden spoons and the next week there was an assortment in the kitchen.

Some of you may understand what my version of honeymooning is and some of you might not. That just means you need to find what your forever honeymoon feels like. Determine what your love language is and learn the language of your partner. These are “honeymoon” to me because all still give me butterflies. In other words those interactions bring up that same excitement I felt when we first fell in love. It’s a feeling that comes up through conversations, gifts, and even looks from across a room. No, we won’t have another first kiss or experience that first Cubs game again. But we have plenty of “firsts” ahead of us and a whole lot more honeymooning to live.

Does the Honeymoon Have to End?

Does the Honeymoon Phase Have to End?

FULL TRANSCRIPT. (The following is the full transcript of this episode of The Be Seen and Heard Journey. Please note that this episode, like all BSH Journey episodes, features Victor speaking extemporaneously–he is unscripted and unedited.)

Does the Honeymoon Phase Have to End?

Hey, it’s Victor. Welcome to another Be Seen and Heard Journey. Thank you for being with me today, whether you’re watching the video or listening to the podcast or reading this amazing blog. I thank you for taking the time to be with us today. Today’s topic is on healthy relationships.
To begin with,  I am not a counselor, nor am I a psychologist. On the other hand, I believe all of us have had some experience with relationships and it doesn’t have to be a romantic relationship that we’re talking about. It can be any kind of relationship between two people. For me, what comes to mind are my kids. I believe there are three attributes to having a successful and healthy relationship with my kids.

One is trust.

I think it’s important that my kids trust me and that they can come to me and talk to me about anything that’s hurting them. And then what builds on trust in what reinforces the trust is the communication. Consequently, I think trust and I think communication is just as important. I want my kids to be able to talk to me. I want them to be able to share things with me and to be comfortable, always coming to their dad.

The third one I believe is the ability to accept the person for who they are.

Generally I think that also goes across the board for my kids. I don’t want to try and change them. In other words, I just want to try to be a model for them. To be someone that they can look to for guidance and maybe, you know, wanting to be like dad in some aspects, but I also want them to be themselves.
For them to do what they feel is comfortable in their own hearts is important. I think that’s very vital as it pertains to marriage. I have now been divorced for two years and I don’t really talk about it publicly too much. But since this topic is healthy relationships, I have learned from my past marriage. Similarly I have learned that I think those three components, trust, communication, and accepting the person for who they are is crucial to a successful relationship in this case, a marriage.
And I think we had two out of the three pretty well. It was that third one that it kind of didn’t work out the way we probably planned. So to me, trust, communication, and accepting the person for who they are is crucial to an ultimate relationship. And obviously love stands above them all.

But I think when you add those three together, love is what’s left over and I think that’s really important.

And I want to say, please share this with your friends and family and let’s keep these healthy messages going again. Everyone deserves the right to be seen and heard. Thank you so much. See you next time.