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Letting Go With Faith




Letting Go With Faith

A fair amount of my life has been spent attempting to maintain order. Coming from such an unpredictable upbringing, I guess that’s par for the course. I have struggled with last-minute changes, cancelled plans, and spontaneity. Instead of letting go with faith and trusting the process that is life, I would try and anticipate, predetermine, or outright control what was happening around me. Honestly, it was exhausting and frustrating. During those times I was in the middle of an all-out, anxiety-inducing, spiraling mess…that I put myself in. But I’m working on relinquishing some control.

I can’t control the traffic. But I can have faith that my pre-determined route is clear…and that I’ll wake up with plenty of time to do my hair and paint my face.

I can’t control the weather. But I can have faith that I’ll remember an umbrella. Or that my setting spray will hold. Or that the weather man was wrong. And if all of that goes wrong, well…

water doesn’t stain, right?

I can’t control my family getting hurt, sick, or moving away. But I can have faith that our love is present even if they’re aren’t. Part of that is making sure I’m spending time with them now; FaceTime, phone calls, and shopping trips included. The other part of that is living in the moment. If I find out someone I love is sick, I don’t want to waste time thinking about tomorrow. I want to be with them today.

I can’t control the upcoming school year. It’s scary and unsettling to know that “normal” just isn’t going to apply to my work right now. But I can have faith that the work we do will not be impeded because the work we do is needed. We will still educate students, staff, and parents on sexual abuse. Just a quick reminder:

One out of four girls and one out of six boys will be sexually abused before they turn 18. 

I can’t control my triggers. I can’t help that slammed doors, stomping feet, or the sound of a motorcycle sends a jolt of fear up my spine. But I can have faith that my four years spent in CBT prepared me to manage my triggers with an arsenal of skills. I have faith that I can manage through pain and fear.

I can’t control my son growing up so fast. Time out: every parent told me that each stage of childhood feels like the blink of an eye. I always nodded my head and said, “I bet!” I didn’t realize how right they were until I experienced that blink myself….and my son is only 3! Anyways…I can have faith that my son is healthy, happy, and able to enjoy his childhood in ways I never did.

After years of failed attempts, I am so done trying to micromanage what the universe has in store for me. I do not have complete control over my life and that’s an uncomfortable reality. But I’ll take our uncomfortable reality over the weighted burden of constant control any day.

Letting Go With Faith

Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.


FULL TRANSCRIPT. (The following is the full transcript of this episode of The Be Seen and Heard Journey. Please note that this episode, like all BSH Journey episodes, features Victor speaking extemporaneously–he is unscripted and unedited.)

Hey! It’s Victor. Welcome to the Be Seen and Heard journey. Thank you so much for being with me today. Today’s topic is on faith and I think Martin Luther King Jr.  said it best when he said faith is taking that first step, even when you can’t see the whole staircase. See, so many times we take that step thinking that we can control everything. You know what? I raised my hand.
We can’t control everything, but you can have a belief and a faith that things are going to turn out. I think faith ultimately means trust, trust in yourself, and trust in others that care about you and you care about. See, I can equate faith to my children. It always goes back to my children because my goal in life is to become a better parent than I was yesterday. I keep growing and I keep taking that step. Even when I can’t see the whole staircase.
It’s an ongoing staircase as a parent. A few years ago, I was divorced. It’s a challenge to take my kids back to their mom. To know that when I leave them that I’m not going to see them for a few days. Every time I do leave them, I have that sinking feeling. I’m actually really sad. But I’ve learned that faith gets me through because I know I’m going to see them again. We’re going to pick up right where we left off.

It’s not the ideal situation for them, but it’s where we’re at together as a family.

So I’ve learned to believe in the process of faith, knowing that I can’t control everything. When I think that I can, that’s when I become anxious and frustrated. So I’ve learned to let go. Is it easy? Nope. Do I catch myself back in my old habits? Yep. But I keep moving forward. I keep taking that step, knowing that the next step will be there and just enjoying the moment, right? The moment that I have with my kids each and every time and to improve each and every day.
So with that being said, “faith, you got to have it” as George Michael said. I hope you’ve enjoyed this video. Please share this video with your family and friends. And again, thank you and know that every child deserves to be seen and heard and have faith. Thank you so much. Have a great day.