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Decisions Blog

People ask me, they say Victor, “How are you able to overcome the fact that your Father was a violent alcoholic? How are you able to overcome the fact that you were sexually abused when you were 8 years old? In fact, how are you able to overcome that you lost your mom and age of 59 and then two short years later your sister Reneé was killed because of domestic violence?” And I think about it, and I realize that I am no better than anyone. We are in this together. And…I did something to overcome all of these.

I made a decision. I made a decision that I didn’t want to live in the pain of adversity no matter how difficult it was. I was in a lot of pain that my father was an alcoholic. I mean it hurt the family. I was in a lot of pain that I was sexually abused at the age of eight keeping it an unsafe secret for over 11 years of my life, and I was in complete pain that my my beautiful mom died at the age of 59, and then two short years later my sister Reneé, 38 years old, is gone.

But, I decided that I had a choice to either live in the pain or not live in the pain. And that is, I think, one of the most important things that you have to realize when going from VICTIM to VICTOR, especially the mindset is that you have a choice. You can decide how you want to take all the adversity in your life and what you want to do with it. I’ve been able to take a lot of my pain and convert it and to create out of it incredible programs for children to empower them through an Erin’s law presentation. It talks sexual abuse awareness. My goal is to reach out to any child who is connecting to my story to get them to raise – to privately raise their hands so that they can talk about their abuse so they don’t go 11 years in silence. I lived that pain over and over again for eleven years in my mind.

So, the one thing I want to share with you today – I get very passionate about this – is that you have to make good decisions – you have to decide – WHAT do you want for your life. You have to decide and ask yourself, “Do I want to live in the pain or not live in the pain?” So many times we look for things outside of ourselves to give us the answers. For me it has always been trying to learn something. A new distinction – a new strategy – to be inspired by the greats and boy they inspire – The Wayne Dyer’s, the Leo Buscaglia’s. All these great people have inspired me, but I realize that it is me who holds the key. These people can help us and keep us going and inspire us but we have to take the action. I go back to the last podcast. We have to take
action – so the action today is decide. Decide if you want to live in the pain or not live in the pain. Do you want to go from VICTIM to VICTOR? It starts with YOU!